This one might annoy me almost as much as the you just need to relax myth does.
Neither are helpful but maybe it’s the illogical nature of this particular myth that grates, or the fact that people always suggest it with a sly smile RIGHT BEFORE they say something inappropriate about enjoying my husband and our time together, so let me just clear the air for all those who’s chief concern is not that I am taking fertility drugs every month but, instead, that I might not be physically enjoying my marriage.
Life is plenty spicy in that department. Worry more about my mental health during this journey and the things I am losing right and left; hope, faith, friendships, and patience- those are things that are worth being concerned about. Everyone let me worry about everything else.
I am going to sidestep everything else that I could say that would turn this into a rant and just go for the actual facts; is there indeed a causal link between rampant alcohol consumption and ease in getting pregnant?
Let’s take a closer look at super-sucky fertility myth #3;
“You’re just not getting drunk enough!”
So, aside from the fact that this is, yet another, pointless victim blame in a situation where there truly is no blame to be assigned, studies show that there is no proof that consuming any amount of alcohol will speed the process of conception up in the slightest.
In fact, this article by Your Fertility, (n.d.) suggests that couples struggling to conceive should actually cut back on alcohol consumption because it could be having a direct impact on whether or not a woman is ovulating at all.
No ovulation? No baby.
I don’t even have a medical degree and I know that to be true.
This is a kissing cousin of last week’s post because it is still a suggestion that the woman experiencing the infertility is bringing this all on herself by being too tense.
It is also horseshit.
So just know, if you’re in this battle alongside me that the only person who can give you any advice worth following is your doctor. Period.
Do not listen to the relentlessly well-wishing women who have never been in your shoes; do not listen to the impatient people in your lives who will tell you anything to get you to stop talking about your struggle, and also don’t mute yourself, either.
Go find a support group or a community like @.theivf.warrior on Instagram and go soak up all the support from women who have been cursed with listening to the same bullcorn for however long it has been affecting them, and stop telling your truths to people who can only meet them with their weak ass platitudes and useless advice.
If all else fails, come find me on IG as well, on my @chickandchickadee account and I will remind you how weak people give awful advice and that those people can’t sit with us.
Hang in there and take some time for yourself today; time to grieve your losses, regroup, and decide whether or not to get back in the fight.
But mostly just be as kind to yourself as you are to the world around you (unless you’re rude then be kinder to yourself).
Until Next Time,
The Chick and Her Chickadee
Reference
Your Fertility (n.d.).Alcohol. https://www.yourfertility.org.au/everyone/lifestyle/alcohol#:~:text=While%20it%20is%20not%20known,of%20having%20a%20healthy%20baby.